Sleepy days

Time comes and goes.
And here i am, one year later and one year less wise, different in some ways, and same in some,
but mostly different though.

The significance and the thing that kept not just me but all others going during the year was the PMR exam.

And while it lasted, there's the end. Wow...the burden was finally lifted. And what does it lead to...?
Well, i really don't know .....There's no aim anymore, some are temporary, others...well....it was fun while it lasted.

Alas, boredom snare me at home, nothing much to do. Go to school you say ? The same. Gambles at school, placing bets, whats fun is there, no idea......kinda pathetic don't ya think?

Being somniferous all the way, slacking, loathing, hence dying from boredom eventually...

(What to do? )

( Well, why don't ya go for a holiday? )

( Nah...the only thing that i'll do there is sit back and relax at the hotel, must well stay at home.)

( Hmmm..Go out then, shopping .. )

( Empty pocket .)

( Work then ~ )

( Lazy.....= O = *yawn .)

( Well, there's that reunion between your primary friends a few days later .)

( Hmmm....Not interested. )

( Why not? its been three years since you saw them .)

( Yeah, i know, but..well.....Should i ditch them? )

( No.)

( Just ' No" ? )

( Yes. )

( Yes, just ' no ' or yes, you are a worthless scum that's selfish, pathetic and slacking fool that's don't even care about his friends? )

(........ )

( Well?? )

( I'm thinking. )

( About what? )

( Why the heck am i talking to myself)

( ............. )

Dream On

*Read this slowly, it is supposed to be melancholic.

Life is meant to be a dream, skating on soft, white ice,
Enjoying while eyes and fins and razors peer through the dark water beneath,
Pulsing and whispering seduction.
Dreams fall like wingless birds from the sky,
And when we die, the ice breaks, and we wake up for the first time,
Joining the monsters that take us into their arms, in hell......


I dream of a plain of ice, i feel the presence of " Ice"
or maybe it's just the wind.
Brushing against my hand,
Like a delicate flower.

I hear a voice, an echoing voice,
Crushing, Engulfing......
Resonating into the distance,
Just like thunder.

It was the death call,
Resounding into the distance.
On that plain of Ice, i Die.

Hell is a big place, a cold place,
And it stretches as much as miles, and maybe more.
I will go to the throne of Lucifer himself,
and demand to be given back what is mine,
My life.....

Heaven is a small place, warm and comfortable,
But it stretches in moments not so much as miles, and maybe less.
I doubt God himself has a place for me.

So where should i go?
Dreaming on............endlessly...


This may be the last post, maybe not, i don't know. Enjoy.

Nighty night

Now, this is a tale about a soldier. He was with the NAVY then. Gavin was his name and he was one of the finest soldier the country have. He was strong. He could run really fast. Not that he ever run away from his enemies before. And he was brave. Not that he was ever cowardly.

He was everything a man could ever wanted and women too . But he did lack of height. Not that he was short , but rather everyone was just always a bit taller than him. Now, Gavin was not content. People would sing and write poems about heroes as strong, brave , good looking, intelligent, but never short.

And so, there was a rumour about an old man that had the ability to make someone tall. He went to search for him. The old man lived in an old hut outskirt of the city, deep in the forest. He searched for days.

As the sun rose to reclaim possesion of the sky from the night, Gavin finally made it. He knocked at the door and the old man opened it. The conversation went something like this:

Li-Ved: Good Morning.
Gavin : Hello.
Li-Ved: And what can I, a petty old man do for you.
Gavin : Well, I was looking for a man that has the ability to make someone tall, or so the rumour goes.
Li-Ved: Ahh ... And the rumour's right.

But little did he know the story behind the rumour. Li-Ved was a devil indeed, the kind of guy who enjoy pulling legs from flies during his youth and chopping off humans' legs after he was old. In short , he was cruel. The folks would tell stories about him to scare children off. But till now none have proved true.

And so Li-Ved invited Gavin for a stay. The old man was quite scary, he had wrinkles, and crooked nose, and he always wore black, jet black clothes .He said that he liked black cause black is the boldest and best. And the most dramatic. And it is. Gavin was slightly intimidated and scared of him.

Gavin stayed for a few weeks, he could use the rest from the NAVY. Li-Ved accommadated him. He would give Gavin an absolutely delicious dinner with plenty of wine and as he grew sleepy, he might well thought to himself that he was, after all, rather lucky to be spending nights with the old man. He would think that the old man might even be a fool for being so kind. Li-Ved offered him everything he could need except making him tall. And so Gavin got frustated and finally asked him.

And so the old man told him about the amazing magic bed. He said “ It fits anyone. It doesn't matter how tall your are or how short you are, its the perfect length for you. “ But it doesn't explained how it could make him tall but Li-Ved would tell no more.

This is how the ' magic bed ' worked. At one end of the bed there was a rope and drum; at the other end a razor sharp cleaver. If you were too short for the bed, Li-Ved would stretch you. If you were too long, he would cut off your legs. Either way, it was one bed in which nobody ever wake up from.

Gavin was blindfolded and put onto the bed. The last words the old man said was “ You got fooled by a fool, you foolish fool “ Whether Gavin had to be lengthened or shortened ( maybe the bed was too short for him ) , nobody knows. Who is it to say which endings is more likely?

And so, don't fret if you are short and don't boast if you are tall. 'Cause one night, you might stumbled across this bed and regret.



This is a story made for Gavin ( and me too I think ) and a warning to others. Enjoy . {haha}


One more thing, Li-Ved was a devil indeed. He enjoy people's suffering. His name was Lived, for he once lived and died as a human before being reborned as a devil. And if you read the name backwards, it would spell Devil.

Lets put a smile on that face

It was Sean's 10th birthday, and the present he got was a stuffed clown. At first sight, he hated it. It had a crooked smile and black circles around its eyes, wearing a blue jester on its head. He couldn't stand it.

Right after he got it, he placed it on the highest and the furthest bookshelf from his bed.

Every night he would dread about the clown. Even though, it was far away, its eyes were still staring straight at him. Day after day, he would complain to his mom. And she would always answer “ It's just a toy, my dear” Finally one night he decided to turn the clown around so that its face would stare at the wall instead of him. Yet, on the next day, the clown would turn back round and stare at him.

He asked his mom whether she had moved it. “ No “ was her answer and this made him more worried. And the following nights, he would tell himself “ it's not alive, it's not alive “ but he wouldn't dare turn the clown around again for fear it would turn back and proved its alive. Every night, he slept by the watchful eyes of the clown . He hated clowns.

One day, when he woke from his sleep, on the bookshelf , there were two clowns. His heart pounded so hard that the pain swept him away. The other clown was almost the same as the first , except for his jester hat, it was red, and instead of a smile, it was wearing a frown. He asked his mother, she answered casually “ I don't know, but they make a good pair , just let it be my dear ” Now , Sean is very worried.

Every night, two pairs of eyes would stare at him, one with a eerie smile that look like it was smug. One with a sadistic frown that expressed pity for him, but to him, it was not so. They were both evil and there were no pity. Did he mentioned that he hated clowns?

His mom got tired of his complaints and started ignoring him whenever he started complaining. He too grew tired of the fear, but he can't make it go away.

One night, before he eyes closed and slept, there was a sound           “ thud “ , it sounded like something had fallen. He looked around his room and there it was, the clown with the sadistic frown was on the ground. Sean was very afraid. It couldn't be the wind that blew it, cause the windows were closed, so it couldn't just fall off. He got more scared......He decided to let it be and wait till morning. He curled himself under his blanket. Minutes paseed when his blanket started moving down his legs. He looked down. It was the clown !!! It was alive, pulling his blanket away, he couldnt scream, something choked his throat, fear....

The next morning, Sean's mom wouldn't have to hear his complaints anymore, not because they are getting rid of the clowns, but because Sean was never found. And there were two clowns in his room, now both with a smile . 

 
I asked Sean that day, whether he liked clowns. He said ' no '
So this is the story i thought of dedicated to him. {haha}

Wine

The room was filled,
with a symphony of moans and cries of pleasure.
Doing it for thrill,
The lust of both could no longer be endure.

He wrapped her with his bare chest, lean muscle,
Moving with a playful manner.
Her crystal-blue eye bewitched and dazzled,
Showing off her deepest feminine demeanour.

His body overwhelmed with testosterone,
Fingers followed down her waist to hips.
His kisses course down from her cheekbone,
Passionately met between their spidery lips.

The touch of his slipped to her chest,
Leaving her gasping for air, breathless.
Finally, she gracefully undressed,
She was beautiful, it could kill him more or less.

Hands and legs constantly intertwine,
Emotions setting in, getting physically sublime.
The kisses sweet and taste like wine,
Nothing could compare to this that's so fine.

A poem after finishing the novel VA ...
Ideas just came pouring in ....{haha}

Dawn

I jolted up from my sleep, reminicing the nightmares i had. It were never good.

I gazed through the eerie window. A branch from a tree. A single raven with its infinite depths of dark eyes, staring at me . I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, i couldn't even think. Fear engulfed me.

When did ravens able to seize people's abitilty? Well... it seized mine.

Then, my fingers slowly crept to the table beside my lovely bed, covered with the whitest sheets. I looked at the clock, Within mere 3 hours it would be the time the sun kisses the horizon and shine it's divinity on earth, Dawn. Time passed. The ticks of the second hand of the clock aches like pulses of blood behind a bruise.

I stood up, strecthed myself half-awake. I dragged myself through the door. Ran my fingers down to the door knob. As i twisted it, it creaked as if hating being forced open. I strode down the stair case. I almost fell one or two but went on.

I was disoriented. Every steps i made around the house seems wrong. A mistake. I felt like being trapped in a catacomb, trying my hardest to escape.

A door stood in front of me. I never remembered any doors like this one. It's knob were yellow in colour, like melted honey spread on crisp golden toast, glittered and shone like chips of topaz.

Curiousity pushed me ahead.

Opening it, a single chair was in the middle room. As i paced forward, the door behind me slammed. Total eclipse of the eyes, it was darkness.

But somehow i saw dimmed light around the chair.I walked closer. A wee teddy bear was sitting on it. It was brown, like sand on the beach or mud, only darker or maybe lighter, i didnt know.

" Hi " i said to the bear. it didnt answer of course. But in the abbys of my mind, something took over my body, my lips and said those syllables. " Hi , Max " i said now with a name though it was unfamiliar. A small table lay beside it with two cups of tea , i think . My hand went for it without the command of my brain. i gave it to Max ( if its even his name), and of course it spilled. " Oh Max, im sorry." i muttered thoughtlessly. But it sat motionless, eyeing me with dead silence. " If you are going to be like then be it" I muttered those words even though i didnt get his reply in the first place.

It was like im seeing these events as a third person, an observer. But then the bear sprang to life with its filthy teeth, and consumed me, wholely.

I was in agony, the pain was overwhelming, pain that bad that it felt like being dragged slowly across a bed of razor blades, endlessly, pain so bad you would take death with a smile just to get away from it and at that moment i realised i would never see the dawn breaking through the horizon.... That stupid bear caused this pain,   
M A X ..........

Another random written to be amused {haha} The name of the teddy can be anyone but i chose Max cause it suits him well, it's cute, chubby and deadly at the same time.....Creepy isnt it ? {haha}

Farewell

Its random. Max was trying to write a farewell kind of poem for a friend, and while he sat there and started writing,i did too.
So according to Max, he's going to SG . So, Max want to make a nice and sweet poem, i in the other hand dont even know this dude,(haha) i gotta write from scratch without any real experience ...so i turn to morbid thoughts for help and decided to write a bitter but ' memorable ' poem . It's just a sketch and its for fun.

Today we shall bid farewell,
For you are going to hell,
In Singapore's black pit you shall dwell,
We wish for your worst and unwell.

You worthless scum !~
For you left us in the dump,
You ungrateful bastard !~
For you are vile beyond words.

Until your mournful return,
Your kith and kins shall be burned,
Your wellbeing is not our concern anymore,
'Cause we hate you forevermore.

You chased your dream so willingly,
But we shall shun you so callously,
We despise you to the very core,
So now, you will never be adored.

It is time for us to cut our ties,
For our bonds have died,
Here and now we shall part,
Leaving no rememberence in our heart.

Cheat

Exam's coming and some people will cheat,
and im not denying that i never. So here's a poem i wrote.
It's not quite good, i havent write for long,
im quite rusty . Here goes.

Pappers passing down,
I'm a foolish clown,

Doomed !

No answers on the sheet,
i gotta cheat.
Spare me,
let me see.

Come on,
Help!

I dont know how,
Give me the answers now.
From left to right i stare,
Cheat i will and i dare,

Teacher's eye watching,
My heart's scorching,
Sweats rolling down my face,
I gotta pump up the pace.

Ameliorate my tribulation,
End my continuous frustation.
For long i ruminate,
i cant procrastinate.

Free me!

Time is not waiting for me,
im clearly doomed you see.
Im in quite a quagmire,
To cheat is my desire.

Go for it!

Give me a leak,
my papper's a total bleak.
Let me take a peek,
for the answers i seek.

I gotta keep awake,
Give me a break.

Yes! The answers! Let me copy,

No hesitation now,
Let me give you a bow,
Thanks for the answers,
You ended my head's whirls.

Little girl

I dont even know why i wrote this.
It's a response story on Max's "Puppet's Tear" link


I was waiting on a bridge,
only accompanied by the moon,
stood still in the dark.

Then,
a child came to me,
a wee little girl,
with a can of gasoline in her hand.

She said" Hey sir"
I answered " Yes?"
" I burnt a house nearby"
"Yes, i know, i can see that, but why? "

The little girl replied
" For fun, but there was a puppet left behind"
I said
" Shouldn't you rescue it before its too late? "

She said with a glee smile
" No, i loved it, because it was special, but not anymore, i have my can of gasoline to play with now"

I asked " How? "
She answered giggling
" By burning , erasing every human on earth"


The fire burn fiercely,
Flames engulfing.
We watched,
as the fire spread.
Even the puppeteer's house ruined.

I looked at the girl,
innocent little visage of hers.

Then she walked away singing,

La la la la La la la

To the puppet i lie,
Puppets, puppeteers all got to die.

La la la la La la la

Crossing the bridge and eventually disappears.

Sliding away

I have nought to write for a long time,
all i did was watch the world goes by.

Everything seems to be sliding away,
i dont have a firm grip on my life anymore.
Let me ask,
how long has it been since you guys started schooling?
it has been a long time eh? Ten years and more....

Ever since,
My will is my master,
keeping me going.

Well...
now it seems my will is no more,
Im exhausted,
I have naught left.
My life sway like a wind blown leaf.
Everything is sliding away from me,
away from my grasp slowly,
I dont even have the slightest desire to pull them back,
Why?

I did not care anymore somehow,
I just let it be,
Let them go.
Death erases all your worldly cares,
Yet im still alive,
with a hollow mind,
nothing to care.

The exams are nigh,
And i have yet started getting ready,
It's like going into the battlefield without any weapons or shields,
And what is assured,
Loss and The End.

My friends flew. Literally

Well,
My friends flew away,
Literally.

My friends had went for a holiday,
leaving me behind.

I guess i will be bored to death,
for the whole week.
At first,
i felt that i would miss them,
but when the day came when they flew off,
it felt as though it was a relief.

It was something like letting go,
Letting the bonds of me with them slide away,

Something like letting myself free,
All frustations gone ,
But it was a double edged sword,
They were gone with the good parts,
Their jokes,laughs, teases and praises.

Let it be,
They shall fly,
Goodbye.

Not my day

A bad start for the day with some misfortunes.

My handphone fell on the ground,
which broke it.

Then i accidentally flushed my contact lens into the sink.

After i got ready to go to school,
The lift of my apartmen broke down,
Had to walk 20 storeys down.

Then since it rained,
i got soaked when i reached school at the nick of time,
Almost late......

And finally i owed someone some money
which i payed them back ...*sigh*

What would you steal if you had the chance?
Something stolen that wont harm others.

I would steal a snowman,
Under the snowy obscured moonlight,

It is as cold as a piece of ice,
As cold as me,
As a companion.
I'll start with the HEAD.

Rescue me

Something about how empty i feel lately...i just keep daydreaming off,
And my friends are always there.

It is not good though,
i wrote it without any thought.

Once again i stood still,
In the midst of time.
Imprisoned behind my heart's grille,
Listening only to the mellow chime.

My mind totally empty,
Through night and into day.
I am faced with uncertainty,
Rescuing me were they.

They were always nigh,
Lending a helping hand.
Leading my continuous sigh,
Into an oblivious end.

They are my companions,
I shall say,
Thank you for rescuing me.

Tag game

Instructions: Remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

Tagged by iDominic
Tagged : None  ( no one to tag )


1. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Nope

2. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Go back into my dreams without boundaries

3. Prefer to get a lover that love you more than you love him/her?
Nope, Love equally.( But maybe the guy should make the effort haha)

4. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
Bonds with my friends

5. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Keep in my bank and let it grow

6. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Nope, maybe im just too cowardly

7. What type of movie you enjoy the most?
Fantasy

8. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
Appearance and trust

9. What annoy you the most?
Restrictions in life

10. Which do you prefer from your other half? hug? or kiss?
Hug

11. Will you choose a guy who is good looking but not that smart / a girl who is not that good looking but quite smart?
Smart?? as in academically?? I choose trust

12. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Internet.

13. Will you join politics?
Not likely

14. Who is your best friend?
Have yet to meet him/her

15. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?
Self confidence

16. What's on your mind right now?
Loneliness which i enjoy sometimes and frustated about

17. What's the last shocking thing you've seen or heard?
Nothing shocks me

18. What is the nicest moment that ever happened in your life?
When i sleep in tranquility

19. What do you hope for?
Everything in life goes to how i  expected and how i want them to

20. What plans do you make from now onwards?
Nothing come across my mind

Apologies

My posts are getting shorter and shorter...

In heart,
I accepted his apologies,
Its just that i do not want to show it.

Don't accuse me of being selfish.
Let him suffer from the haunts of his guilt for once,
As i suffered from the threats and teases.

Let them be pleas for forgiveness,
than more threats.

Be assure i wont go overboard,
It will only last for a few days.
He challenged me anyway,
saying i cant ignore him for long.
I can and if i am compel to,
i will.

What i dare not or did not say,
are far more significant than what i said,
and they are best left unsaid.

No Name

To S32n,

I'm Anonymous,
No Name.

You have my trust the least.

My thoughts are mine,
Why should i confide to you.

I provoked someone

I didnt know how i enraged my friend,
It was an issue of trust and friendship.
It didnt go well.

At first,
I trusted him with all my heart.
As time goes by,
the trust that i have for him,
went astray.
In return for my friendship and trust
He accused me.
It wasnt long that he somehow betrayed me,
Well...it was imminent.
He did not completely betray me,
He exposed a crack in me,
to someone else.
A small crack in a glass,
will eventually break it completely.

People's mind are unpredictable,
He reveals one small crack,
Who knows how it will end up.

Accusation continued,
Suspicion between two of us.
It was his final straw,
He had enough.
I think i might have ravaged something,
in him.
I provoked him.
I dont know what to say,
Should i be the one who should be mad,
Or him?
It was clearly him who made the 1st move,
He took action instead of discussion.

After he left,
i felt empty.
My thoughts went blank,
Completely.
It doesnt seem it happened.
All my cares for everything about me

And him,
disappears.

In every story ,
Whenever death comes around,
An angel will descend at some point.
It is as though they are burdened to deliver bad news.
Something as graceful as an angel,
Was burdened to take a soul,
Leaving the soul's companions,
with grieving mourns.

Maybe im the same,
Im burdened with my secrets,
Whenever they leak,
My companions shall carry one of my burden.
In the end,
They'll end up in fury and sadness.

*Hey, sorry man ...
i dont know if i should be the one apologising,
but....i dont know...i dont care about it anymore
Well....for now i guess...
Maybe my patience's limits are beyond yours,
And you have reached it,
but i have yet,
Even though u keep pissing and annoying me,
for so long......it did not come close to my limit.....
Truce?
 

School starts over

The holiday ended,
My enjoyment eventually faded.

Being in school,
Makes me look like a fool.
Friends seem so unreal,
Threatens, False Statements,
Yet again repeated.
Although i accepted them with equaminity,
My heart rushes with anger.
I dont aspire to hurt,
But i emanated dislike.
It continues,
It was futile to retaliate,
So i chose with Ignorance.
Guess what,
More insults.

It was the first day,
Classmates are full of joy,
with tales to tell.
Continuous of cacophony in the class,
It doesnt bother me much.
It's good to see them so joyous,
I kept sullen,
Observing every single events that happen.
All i can see are laughter.
But that doesnt last too long though,
With the announcement of results,
made some of the students
sad and some rejoiced.

So the day ended with elation and lamentations.
 

CampFire

It was the best night i ever had,
The rain almost ruin it,
but some of the incidents make it joyous.
the only thing i regret,
was not bringing a camera.

There were singing, dancing, jokes, and a fesyen show.
Im only interested in the singing and dancing,
The singing soothes me and watching them sing,
it made me amazed.

While the performances were commencing,
i saw 1 couple actually sitting closely,
on the 2 storey high bamboo built fortress ( kinda).
I wonder what they are doing,
You?


Later, we got to let ourselves go wild and dance,
Most of the girl guides had their fun.
I didnt really dance like them,
i just blended in a little.
It was a few dances,
they keep telling the crowd to come,
upfront to the stage to dance.

In the 1st dance,
i actually saw one of my primary schoolmate,
Hahas,
She was having fun.
At least i get to see one of the many,
scattered primary friends.

Something surprised me though,
in the following dance,
A girl guide hit me on the hand while im dancing.
What was that about,
i think she must have regconise the wrong person.

But the most interesting thing has yet to come,
You think the campfire its just having fun !?
Well,
You're wrong.
1 of my friend, lets jus call him, WY.
He liked a girl and she was here.
The girl sms-ed him to go into the crowd and dance.
We didnt really know where she is,
and WY was clueless on how to dance.
As some of us went scouting for her,
some stayed advising him,
" Just jump and shake and have fun "

She was one of the groups of girls dancing,
One of other WY friends recognise the wrong person,
He told us it was her and we pushed WY to the group.
But it was not her,
how embarassing.

Finally we found her,
Again we pushed WY to her.
No turning back now eh?
After a few attempts of running away,
WY finally gave in and went for it.
You know what?
They held hands and danced together closely,
We were also there beside him to support too.
We dance a few songs away.
And in the end,
after the last song was played,
We shouted " Hold Hands"
(not that they are not holding already)
We wanted to make it more exciting,
To see them blush!

After that we all went back to our seats,
i dont really know what happen next,
Its up to him.
But the last sms i got from him,
when i asked him how was it,
was" Haha..lol..So dead"

Swept away by boredom

This maybe one of the few posts i'll have
in this holiday.

Something for my holiday and about someone anonymous trying to fool with me

My anxiety came to the end,
I've forgot how it was back then,
How the time passed in vain.
The time i await,
finally made it.
In this merry holiday,
My lifeless body lays.
It didn't go as planned,
With it im definitely chained.
I am somehow not appreciating it,
For  what had come upon me.
Time seems to fly,
When you are out of your mind.
Time seems to be slow,
When you're doing something you defiant.
Relaxation is the only option,
For my satisfaction.

Events happen without my notice,
A shadow lurked beneath.
Trying to destroy ,
Foolish me, he shall toy.
Thanks to a certain someone,
Fully revealing him he never did,
Being a betrayal to him he will not.
But to me ,he maybe,
Although i could not see.
He may even be the meister of all of it.

For the next few minutes,hours,days,
How many more moon lit night will there be.
We often hold dear to something we dont have,
Always casting aside what we already have.
So in this holiday,
I may feel bored filled with nothingness,
But i should really enjoy it ,
By being carefree .