Loophole

A boring Monday as always...
I think i hate Monday the most.

Today,
M2x ask me,
Why dont i smile and talk more?

Simple....but abit complicated.
I usually feel awkward talking to someone,
especially the oral test with the teacher..
i usually screw it.

Why do i keep most of the things to myself?
I feel more secure, invulnerable, unpenetratable,
Im safer
in a world of my own.
The feeling not most can understand.
You can say that as though i wear an unpenetratable armour.

I wont simply express my feelings or emotions,
If it's a smile that i have to make ,
A fast smile it will be,
What if im sad?
I cant really say,
I havent cry for a long time.

But sometimes,
When i awaken from my sleep,
i find drops of tears on my face,
I wasnt sure the reason....

Even though i keep secrets and other thoughts to myself,
It's hard to keep it forever,
Even its an amour im wearing,
I must surely have a weakness.
This is where the blog comes in,
A loophole,
Its a sanctuary where i find peace,
Express what i have forbade to reveal face to face.
This is how i wont lose my sanity